Last week, I read about a new wedding trend. Apparently, at the reception, instead of throwing the bouquet, brides are handing one flower to each single woman in attendance and praying for her to find a husband.
When I read that, I thought, “HOLD.THE.PHONE.” And I wondered what I would do if I was at a wedding where the bride tried to do that to me.
Lucky for all of us, I was on a writing deadline and didn’t have time to do much blogging last week, which gave me the opportunity to figure out why the new trend is so insulting/offensive/condescending/troubling/problematic.
Here’s the deal. To you brides-to-be, first of all, Congratulations! I am genuinely excited for you.
And second, on behalf of me and my single sisters, please don’t do this at your wedding.
For starters, your wedding day is about you changing your marital status, not mine.
Also, it’s presumptive to assume that I would even want a husband right now. Just because you did doesn’t mean I do.
And, honestly, I don’t go to wedding receptions to be singled out, given leftover flowers and prayed for. The point of the day is to celebrate you, not to console me.
Lastly, there are lots of benefits and advantages to being single and, while I’m not opposed to getting married at some point, the season of life I’m in right now, with lots of opportunities to travel and write and speak, is only possible because I’m single. The Bible actually says singleness is preferable. It’s hard sometimes, no one throws showers for me or buys me presents from a registry or shows up at a special ceremony that took me a year of my life to plan.
But I love my life.
I’m happy for you that you’ve chosen a marriage partner, but it doesn’t necessarily follow that I need to find one now, too.
So. If you’re a bride-to-be, Cheers. Mazel Tov. Felicitations.
Enjoy your special day and, for the love of everything, please, please, please don’t give me a rose from your bouquet.